Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

I’m not sure if I’m isolating myself

in my shut mouth, my closed door,

by the groups I hang out with,

in my flannel shirts, in rehearsals.

I keep thinking how nice it would be

for two arms to wrap around my waist,

pull me close to a warm chest,

a beating heart.

If I open my door,

there’s no guarantee I’ll open my mouth.

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i dredge you up

take a look at your Facebook feed

God, i’m so stupid

i fall for faces

and only faces

i fall not in love

just feel and reel because

my pulse picks up

but you’re voting for Trump

you’re so stupid

brain fried by California sunshine

drunk on forty’s you find on the street

or get from a guy with a shaved head

who you give head in a port-a-potty

That last bit is semi-speculation

but i can’t help but feel bad

because you don’t know what you’re doing

as you grab glowsticks

and hit up a pride parade

hang out with your frat boy bros

and blow each other cuz there’s nothing else to do

since there’s a drought

And i hate that i actually felt

something for you

It’s only because of the way you look

Everybody makes mistakes.

Like a cat,

the feeling lounges in my chest.

Sunlight is less a cure,

more a constraint-

it throws everything into too great

relief. Murk stirs in me;

the raven stabs the phoenix with its beak,

the phoenix will be fully-grown again

in six months.

For now, I look for-

something.

I’m a bottle that wants to be filled.

Laughter and Love

of which I know not-

these amazing Gifts

to others are brought.

 

I stew under Gray,

I sigh in Quiet-

conceal this discontent,

knowing not how long

I may hide it.

Fear of Injury-

of Loss, and Regret-

keeps me stationary,

though I wish to transcend It.

Whoa! 100 followers!

I don’t want to come off as insincere, but all I can do is assure you who are reading this that I am truly grateful and smiling like a fool even though the Internet will not allow for such emotions to be displayed (at least not without pictorial evidence).

But I do want to thank all of you for clicking that little “follow” button and subscribing to my blog to read the weird, crazy stuff I somehow think up thanks to the electric impulses arcing across my nervous system.   

I know that the future holds much more poetry for you to read, and if you’d like, I could post some prose, and more songs too. I’ll also continue experimenting with form and subject in my poetry, so look forward to that (I know I am…also kind of anxious about it, haha)!

Again, thank you all, sincerely.

I wish you all well!

Now I wonder

if I’m someone who knocks

and tries to bring people

out of their loneliness, or

if I’m the person behind the door

living in my own world,

but shutting other people out

at the same time…