Posts Tagged ‘listen’

I listen to music with the lights off.

It’s like being asleep,

like lucid dreaming–

aware of the sounds,

but only the sounds, the notes.

I close my eyes

and the music fills me up.

My ears are what hear it;

my heart is what feels it, and pumps

the feeling that is more than just one feeling

throughout my body

and my head is empty,

devoid of probing thoughts,

but quickly filled

with music

and feeling.


Last night I had an anxiety attack.

I fell asleep at eleven,

woke up at 2,

and couldn’t go back to sleep.

I was hung up on

schoolwork, relationships, my place

in life. Not so much wondering

as letting it all spiral into chaos within my head.

At lunch I felt depression settle in-

the feeling of Not Feeling.

I told myself that I wasn’t going to wallow,

that I was going to feel things

because I was better than this,

but my body barely listened.

And all I want is for a friend to listen.

I may be in a new place,

but I want to keep my old, good friends.

I don’t want to feel ignored,



It’s with everyone.

It’s worse with you.


Some disconnect between

brain and tongue and larynx,

syllables stack onto each other,

come out as just sounds.


There are little to no words

in my brain, blackness is it.

Being near you short circuits my speech.


I’m always searching for an answer

or reply with strangers.

You’re not a stranger,

you just make me feel strange.


I can’t think of anything to say,

though I want to be witty,

I want to sound smart.


My mouths opens and closes

like I’m imitating a fish. I turn red.


It’s with everyone.

It’s the worst with you.

An assemblage of clouds observes.

Listen. There’s applause

just for you!

A blessing from silver skies

says, “you’re appreciated.”

Let the many small hands

strike the walls and window-glass.

It’s all for you!

The clouds praise with rain,

their way of saying,

“you’re wonderful.”

One day, I went out,

and the World Struck my Eye-

the Hills- the Grass- pleaded-

and I could only comply


by venturing forth

into the Warm air-

this solace, like Eternity,

was not simple- but- Fair.

“Words and eggs must be handled with care./Once broken they are impossible/things to repair.” ~Anne Sexton, from her poem “Words” in “The Awful Rowing Toward God”

“Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.” ~ Joel Barish (Jim Carrey), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Let me honestly say,

love, I have no idea

what I am doing.

I monologue

because you let me.

That is a mistake.

I’d rather listen.

When I open my mouth

something honest and stupid

always pours out,

and I’m so critical

of everything I say and do

and you might be too,

but you won’t tell me-

your feelings get lost

because you’re letting me talk

and talk

and talk.